Change Your Mind, Grow Your Business

The biggest boulder in the way of your success is you. Click To Tweet

mind-changingNot pretty to hear because it’s far easier to look outside ourselves for the answers. It’s far easier to add more social media or do better blogging to get the traffic and the visibility you need. And those are both necessary. But if you really want to grow, you have to follow this process….


This work of being a successful entrepreneur will take you to your knees and have you discover all the ‘stories’ that are living in your head that hold you back. But on the other side, there is a sweet freedom, a sense of personal power, influence, and more life than you can imagine.

The first place we are digging in this article is the stories you are telling yourself that are keeping you stuck and unsatisfied with the results you are getting. We all have them. You know…those reasons why you can’t do what you want, or justifications for staying the same.

I’ll give you an example of one of the stories that I’d been carrying (and believing) for some time. Mine was about my list size. I had a nagging belief that in order to make substantially more $, I’d have to have a much bigger list of people who are following me. (Not unreasonable to believe, right?)

But I think the ‘story’ turned into an excuse. “Oh, that didn’t sell as well as I had hoped because of my list size” I’d say. Or, “Dang… I may not be able to fill that program because I don’t have those people on my list.” I spent a ton of time and energy here. Until I went to an event a couple of years ago and got ‘busted’ about this story. And in a second, I saw clearly that I was in some MAJOR self-limiting beliefs. Here’s how it went….

One day at lunch I was sitting next to a fellow attendee and probably launched into my story about needing to grow my list in order to get the results I desired.

The man I was chatting with pointed out that he had only 400 people more on his list than I did and was making a 7 figure income! Basically he was telling me that my ‘story’ around the list was just that….a story. Something made up that held me back, kept me stuck, and truthfully was pretty de-energizing. Here I was only focusing on the lack, and not seeing the opportunity.

That’s what stories do. They limit our options. They blind us to possibility. But mostly, they keep us victims. Victims to things that are very likely not even true.

So let’s find the way out, shall we?

As an example, let’s start with money. If you are not earning the money you desire, there may be some stories underneath that that you may or may not be conscious about. Remember – first we DIG. We dig in and find what the story or faulty belief is that is in conflict with your desired goal.

These are some examples of beliefs/stories that may be at the core of why the $$ isn’t flowing. (When I work with my clients, I teach them how to muscle test to determine if this is holding them back.)

I can’t make more money because:

I haven’t gotten the permission to succeed

I’d be in the spotlight and that would be uncomfortable

People would discover that I’m really an imposter or can’t deliver the value I say I can

Doing what it would take to make money would take me away from my kids

I’d have to sacrifice my family time (or self-care) to make much more money

It would be bad to make more money than my father did

The digging part comes because most of the stories we have are either seemingly believable (like my desire to have a bigger list) or lurk under the surface. It’s almost like having an Operating System that is loaded with bugs and viruses. It slows things down and is really frustrating because sometimes you don’t even know where to look for the solution!

After the digging comes the excavating.

Let’s say you have done the muscle testing and discovered that yep, you are carrying some funky old belief. Imagine this is the big boulder you need to move. Have you ever tried to move a 5 foot boulder? You likely couldn’t do it yourself! This is where having another set of eyes and some leverage helps.

This is where we dig out the dirt and free up the space to put some new and more supportive beliefs in place.

I think a simple way to look at the excavation process is the question “Is this true?” Once you have found the faulty belief, asking if it’s true will bring it from the shadows to the surface. Instead of it being a hidden driver, you now can begin to know what you are dealing with.

Another ‘spin’ I put on it is to find the reason or positive pay-off for it being around now.

Example – If you found the belief that if you earned more $$ it would take you away from your kids; the POSITIVE intent of this belief is to keep you closer to your children and to protect your family life.

And now we renovate.

I do major remodel/renovations with all aspects of business, but for this article we are staying focused on the old beliefs/mindset. So you have dug in and found the faulty belief, maybe where it came from, and how it’s trying to protect you. But we need something else here. This phase is tantamount redecorating. You bought the ‘fixer-upper’ home, gutted the old furniture and 1970’s shag carpet, and now it’s time to design it to your liking.

The question here is, “What would I have to believe to support the vision I have for myself?” I’d also have you look at “Who would I have to be to grow into a person that can create that vision?”

This is where you take the time to decide and build in your more supportive beliefs. This looks like deciding to be something and then orchestrating life around. Example, if you discovered that you have the story that if you make more money, your children will suffer, you’ll want to find role models of women who have done a good job blending work and family life. You’ll want to keep working on boundaries and the stronger sense that you can have both.

Your coaching challenge this week is to look at the process of dig – excavate – renovate. Every client I have comes in and we have to do some work in one of these three areas. So ask yourself these questions –

If I dig into my ‘stories’ what will I find?

What do I need to excavate (move out) in my business? That could be old clients, old pricing, old programming, old website copy, or an old mindset that is holding you back.

Where can I renovate my business and how would I like it to look when it’s finished?

These three questions will keep you moving forward and your business staying fresh and visible. Try it out and let me know how it goes!

Therese Skelly is a Mindset Expert and Business Coach who works with mission-driven entrepreneurs. A former psychotherapist, combined with years of marketing/strategy and consulting, Therese offer’s the perfect blend of both “inner game” work and tactical, real world strategies that allow her clients to see the results they desire.



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